just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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