Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
