Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
