i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
