He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
