So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
