I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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