somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
