She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize