How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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