I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
