she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think I died a long time ago.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
