We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
