Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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