shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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