Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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