I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
