I wannas sexs uuuuu
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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