Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize