okay pat passed out under dana's car
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
