remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
