Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
