I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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