I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
