id be glad to
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize