Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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