Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
