and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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