I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
