Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
vagina is talking i cant
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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