You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
