yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
