Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
