dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i dont even know how to be here
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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