A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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