every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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