I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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