talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
