was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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