Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so let's talk penis.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
