So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize