Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
