Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize