i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
