So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
