Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
