Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
