He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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