im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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