marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
