that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
