did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
