Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize