I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
