My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
