Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
