Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
