wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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